WayfaringStrangers

When I was a horse-crazed teenager, I was given the opportunity to free lease a horse named Bart for a year. I had been a rider for years, and confident in my ability. I could gallop around, jump, handle the occasional buck. I'd ridden dozens of horses, had countless lessons. I thought I was a good rider. And then I got Bart. He was a stocky, strong, dark bay (brown) quarter horse, stubborn and strong willed. It didn't take long for him to establish who was in charge. He was sweet on the ground, but once I was riding, I couldn't control him very well. We'd be doing great, and then he'd whip around, get the bit in his teeth, and pull my skinny 16 year old self back to the barn. I created lesson plans and exercises, trotted him in circles for hours (until he got bored and pulled me back to the barn), and read articles about how to train a stubborn horse. He'd buck out of no where (as I'm typing this, I'm wondering if his saddle fit right...maybe there wa...

It's mid-September and for the first time in days (weeks?) it is cloudy. Cloudy days, cooler air bring out the dreamer in me. I feel restless. One way I outlet that? Writing. I just told Behn that I'm so lucky to have him. He's steady and solid while I'm always dreaming and scheming. The summer felt long and hot and tiring. There were lots of good times and trips and sweetness but the endless idleness and all the needs of young kids left me weary. Now the two big boys are back in school and I have time- not much, but a little- to breathe. I have so much I want to record about the summer...how can I even catch up? I'll probably just do a big photo dump post. I better do it soon, before I forget it all. So easy for tired, busy mamas to forget. I don't want to forget the little things they said, tiny fingers, memories made. I kind of want to forget the long days, the tantrums, the nights we had cereal for dinner again. But it's all life, and it's all gr...

Ah, springtime. Windows open, St. Patrick's Day, Easter. Flowers blooming, birds chirping, garden dreaming. My favorite time of year. I do love autumn, too. But spring is just so fresh. It wins. The boys are outside much of the time. We are walking back to the creek, on the lookout for toads and turtles. And they pick me flowers. I love my little, loving boys. We all worked together to dig up some of the garden last weekend. So far we planted spinach and carrots. I bought a bunch of new seeds and am eager to get things going. I told myself not to get too ambitious- I'm about to have a baby! But it's so fun, I can't help myself.  Plus, Behn  is helping and the boys are learning so much. We will see how the garden goes this year. My induction date is in exactly a month. Behn set up the crib, all blankets and tiny clothes are washed. Bag is packed. I'm ready to meet this little guy. The last couple months are the hardest, especially this tim...

The last few weeks, I've been spending more time with my little nephew, Jack. He is 8-9 months old and so cute. I love that age- sitting but not yet crawling, yet very interactive. I was able to babysit him both last week and the week before. Patrick reading to Jack: Being around a baby makes me realize how far we've come. Now, I know my guys are only 5 and 3 (and still a bunch of work), but there is such a big contrast when paired with a baby. I have 2 big boys out of diapers. Talking. Sleeping. In preschool. Riding bikes. Building forts.We just signed Graham up for his 2nd year of t-ball. Graham is also sounding out words and doing math in his head and engineering legos. Patrick counts and sings and plays with puzzles independently. Each stage is so fun and so challenging. When your baby won't nap or sleep at night, that is so hard. When your kid won't potty train, that is so hard. When your 5 year old still won't eat meat (ahem, Graham), that is s...

The wind bore down harshly Friday night. It was the worst kind of wind, strong and from the North, bringing with it frigid temperatures and a loud howl. Our house is on a hill, our road a bit of a valley; the wind pushes hard against both our bedroom and the boys bedroom windows. I'm always awake at night now. I'm uncomfortable most of the time, and every time I use the bathroom, turn over in bed, or wake up to heartburn, I sigh and look at the clock. This time the wind woke me, though. 3:30 a.m. Two minutes later the boys come in. "The wind is scary. Can we sleep with you?" Behn and I divide and conquer. I go in with Graham and Patrick snuggles with Behn in our room. Graham is tired and tries to fall back asleep. We lay in the dark, listening to the wind pound the house. My stomach growls. After 15 minutes, Graham whispers, "Mom, if a billion is bigger than a million, what is bigger than a billion?" "A trillion," I mutter. I'm always s...

A few weeks ago, our first little guy turned FIVE! Oh, Graham, where do I begin? Little G, as we call him sometimes, is such a smart, fun kid. He has really grown up this past year and thrived in preschool, t-ball, self-care, and friendships. He asks the most interesting questions, brain always turning, and is well-spoken. He has an impeccable memory. While he does fight with Patrick a lot- they have such a rivalry- he's  very loyal to those he loves and I've never seen a little boy more tender with his baby cousins.  More and more he asks spiritual questions, and we feel we see his heart working for the Lord. He's still a challenge in a lot of ways. He's smart and energetic and seems to need to be constantly doing something. Kind of like a German Shepherd. He is very silly (too much at school sometimes!) but a natural leader. He reminds me so much of my brother Isaac, who has a similar personality. I only pray all of this personality and his gifts are used to ...

I'm not sure why a warm stretch in autumn is called "Indian Summer," but I sure am grateful for it this week as we dive into the darkness that is nearing the winter solstice.  Our electric bill will also reflect my gratitude as we've only turned the heat on a handful of times. Autumn seemed to peak last weekend, the foliage in full beauty. The tops of the trees are now beginning to thin. Warm days keep us outside as much as possible but the cool nights are welcome, too. I'm feeling better now that I'm in my 2nd trimester and enjoying cooking and baking again (soup! fresh, warm bread! boxed macaroni n cheese because real life!). Overall, this is a busy season and I do feel weary. The boys are a huge handful of energy, the driving everywhere and working part time and just keeping up with it all seems to have me in a chokehold at moments. Things will settle down, though, or at least shift as winter sets in. I'm already looking forward to the 4 day Thanks...

I'm sitting here with writer's block, thinking about how we are easing into autumn. I really just want to take a nap, but I feel like the blog has become sadly neglected. I love writing. I love going back and looking at the words and pictures I wrote 1, 2, 3, or more years ago. I love watching us grow. And so, even though blogs in general seem to have fallen out of style in place of Instagram, I am here. We enjoyed lots of family time at my sister Olivia's wedding. I have no pictures (pitiful, I know), but it was beautiful. It was really fun having some family in town. Patrick had a birthday this month. The little monkey received no less than 4 new garbage trucks from loving family and friends, which he has been enjoying. Patrick is definitely being a 3 year old...I have to take a lot of deep breaths to get through the day. He's a smart cookie, but all the challenges of a 3 year old are wearing me down. We'll get through it, though! We are so grateful fo...

A little guy I love started PreK 4 last week. We decided to enroll him at the school he went to last year, since we had a good experience. Why mess with what works? He walked confidently into his classroom and seems to be doing well. He even stays for lunch! I drop him off and then get to spend several hours at home with Patrick. We've been taking walks, playing, and I've been trying to get more done around the house. Then, we go pick Graham up and we're all happy to see each other. Making school decisions has been more stressful than I thought it would be. I wish  I were a person or that we were a family who had always known what we will do school-wise. i.e. "We will definitely homeschool!" or "Our kids will go to public school" or "We'll commit to Christian/private school for our kids." As it is, I can see us doing any of those educational scenarios.  When I was pregnant and Graham was a baby, all those decisions were so far away. ...

Oh, little blog. I've missed you. Life has really been going by a mile a minute and my 'free'  time is more limited than ever with these 2 active boys, who rarely nap. But now, tonight, the windows are open and the frogs are singing and the house is finally quiet. Time to take a few minutes to write. Where to start? Nothing really major has happened, just lots of little things. Things like, a new (to us) van. I love it and am so, so grateful that stress is behind us. Things like an old friend visiting (hi, Dee!). Things like this boy finishing up PreK-3: Pretty proud of him. PreK was the right thing for him; at age 4 he needed it. He's become much more confident. As of now, he's enrolled there again for next year for PreK-4. We enjoyed a relaxing Memorial Day. Behn and I took the kids out on a pedal boat at a local park. No one fell in the water, which was the main goal. The boys and I have been outside a lot. Nature walks, park, garden. So hap...

It's been another busy week. And, if I'm being honest, a grumpy and stressful week. But it's now FRIDAY and the weather is perfect and it's all going to be ok. Last weekend we had a fun roadtrip to Greensboro to see Emily and Seth and their girls, and Behn's parents, too. It was fun. I love a change of scenery. Shame on me for only taking a few pics. Ugh, I have gotten so bad about it. Anyway, just for fun, I thought I'd ask Graham a few questions about life as a 4 year old. Age : 4 Favorite Color : Red and Yellow Favorite Song : He hums "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing" (it really is his favorite tune) Favorite Sport : Baseball  Favorite Toy: Baseballs If Graham could plan the best day ever, he would: Eat breakfast by myself and get dressed myself, then play baseball and other sports with my 4 year old brother and I'm 12 years old. Favorite Part About School: Playing with Kylie because she's my partner Best Friend: Patrick Fav...

It's May first and it's been a busy spring so far. So much so that I really want to make sure I write down some things about life. The only way I'm able to blog is if the boys nap/I write when they're in bed/someone else watches them. Today that "someone" is my dad, who drove up to bring me lunch and then let me leave the house (!!)  to write for an hour. A gift! First, a few things I sadly do not have photos of. One is that Behn's parents visited a few weeks ago. We enjoyed lots of BBQ, downtime, and chatting. Behn and his dad also painted the little bedroom, which will be Victoria's room. I'm annoyed with myself for forgetting to take photos. The next weekend, my Mom and I and Graham road-tripped north to my sister Hannah's baby shower! Baby boy is due in July (their first) and I had a lot of fun with my mom on the drive. Graham was a good boy, too :) Sadly, I didn't take any pics of that day, either. The bedroom is a pale yellow. ...

Yesterday was lovely. When it's been 16 degrees for a week, 43 degrees feels like a summer day. In the morning, we discovered our driveway and road were quite icy from a squall the night before, so we stayed home from church. I walked on the treadmill and Behn and the boys played quietly while we listened to John Piper. Later we went on a family walk. I did insist the boys wear coats, but they might have even gotten away with a few layers of sweatshirts. The snow as melting and other neighbors were out walking their dogs and children. Graham walked next to me. Then he said, "I like all this- the snow and woods and it's warm. Can we pray and tell God?" Yes, my boy. Let's walk and pray and give thanks. So we did. Graham's young prayer life is better than mine in many ways. He sees things and is becoming in the habit of saying little prayers. It is precious. Now, before this gets too sappy, also note that he wipes his boogers in Patrick's hair. On p...