WayfaringStrangers

In just 5 weeks or so, the spring peepers will be singing from the creek beds. The past few days reminded me of that, with the warm breezes and open windows. Today it is winter again, and I'm sipping tea, reading, and embracing quiet. Last week, we traveled to Delaware to celebrate the life of Behn's grandmother, Ruth. She was a lovely lady. I'm glad I was able to know her these years that I've known Behn, and that all 3 boys knew her, too. I'm glad we are within driving distance so that we could be with family. The house is 'decorated' with Lego toys and Star Wars ships. The boys have played well lately. Samuel is pulling himself up to stand. It won't be long now, before he's walking and the baby year is over. I'm sad about that, but I do love to see him crawl quickly around the house, trying to keep up with his brothers. This band of boys is a gift. You can't help but live life when life pulls you out of bed each day, life has constant ...

Y'all. I'm still here. Synopsis of my typical day (Mon- Thurs): 6:00..?? Patrick up at o'dark o'clock. Why?? Tell him to lay still and cuddle with us as long as possible. 7 a.m.- 8:50: Breakfast, getting everyone dressed, pack 2 lunches, general maintenance of bodies and souls. Looks like a bomb went off by 8:50. 8:50- 9:30: School drop-offs. 9:30: Finally home. House is quiet, except, oh yeah, the baby. But still, mostly quiet and I take a deep breathe. 9:30- 1:40: Everything. Clean up the bomb that went off from 7 a.m.- 8:50: laundry, meal planning, grocery store, meal prep, Bible reading, journal, sweeping, dishes, call actual adult humans for social contact, walk on treadmill, try to do squats/crunches (funny), shower. Oh yeah, and caring for the little human (breastfeeding, diaper changes, holding, playing). I have to pick and choose what to do each day. 1:40- 2:15: pick up Patrick 2:15- 4:00: play with Patrick, care for Samuel, maybe start dinner if I...

Oh, hey there. A whole month gone by, and no writing. I hate that. I love writing; it helps me process things, remember this life, treasure moments. The air is warm and humid, cicadas humming. We've suffered through a long heat wave and the thunderstorms finally rolled in last night. It's the hard, middle part of summer. This summer has been just exhausting- in the good ways and in the hard ways. So much has happened: a whirlwind trip to Delaware for 4th of July, Dad had a heart attack (he's ok), hosting a new friend from Ukraine for a week, a family trip to Williamsburg. I want to write, but then a kid has a hard moment, I need to write a new grocery list, the baby wakes from his nap, I need to catch up on my reading for a book club I'm co-leading...the list goes on. At the end of the day, I am brain dead and can't do much more than binge watch Nashville .  I miss peace. I miss quiet. I miss not being constantly needed, and always touched. This mothe...

Summertime...you are lovely and tiring and warm. Yesterday was the first official day of summer, but it's been warm and the kids have been out of school for a month now, so it feels familiar at this point. Today the air is humid and the sky looks like it might host one of those wonderful summer thunderstorms. I took the 3 boys for a walk in the woods this morning and it was perfect: that earthy woods smell was strong and we all breathed it all in. And then we got eaten by mosquitoes. The sun has been going down late and up early with the summer solstice and so the kids seem to go to bed later and wake up too early. That, on top of their relentless energy , million demands (not that every demand is always met), and a baby that is up at night nursing, is why my blog has been quiet. Writing is hard right now, as is showering, exercising, and sometimes eating. I do tend to prioritize eating though. Basically any alone time I have is very limited and I'm stretched thin. What hav...

I posted this picture on facebook the other day: A long-time friend said it looked "just right." As in, me with 3 kids was a good fit. I take that as a huge compliment. And the good news is, I feel the same. As I was walking down the street with the 3 boys a few days ago, I thought, 'This is my gang. It's the perfect little group.' I don't mean that there can't be room for more, but right now, this feels right. I'm relieved to be feeling this way. I don't bond with my kids very well in pregnancy. Sure, I'm excited. I like the kicks (until they hurt). But pregnancy, as beautiful and miraculous as it is, isn't my favorite. I don't talk to my babies in utero, I don't sing or read to them. I don't even really think about what they'll look like. But the minute they're in my arms, I feel all the feelings.  With this baby, I had some nerves. G and P are a ton of work...I was kind of scared how we'd make it work with ...

February, to me, is the longest month. March sure can stretch on, too, but at least the crocuses are coming up in March. A few things lately are helping me keep my sanity. And they are... 1. Early bedtime. Like, 8:30 or at least by 9:30. I just never know how many times I'm going to wake up for roll myself over (because, belly) or get up to use the bathroom. It's hard to feel rested, and I know it's only going to get harder after the baby comes... 2. Tea. I started drinking tea a few years ago, and have really enjoyed it this winter. The perfect afternoon pick-me-up (even though decaf) or evening wind-down. What's your favorite tea? 3. These books: A sweet friend gifted me with The Quiet Place by Nancy Leigh DeMoss for my birthday and it is a refreshing devotional. Highly recommend. I ordered Roots and Sky by Christie Purifoy recently and am enjoying that book as well. It's her testimony of the first year living in an old Pennsylvania farmhouse, and t...

It's one of "those" posts...I'm a jumbled mess and just trying to type out all the feelings and thoughts. I am tired. Patrick wiggled his way into our bed at some dark o'clock. He kissed me and then laid quietly. I looked at the clock: 5 a.m. "Oh good," I thought, "he'll go back to sleep." 5:15: He's still laying awake. "He will go back to sleep." 5:25: Still awake. "5 a.m. cannot be his wake up time." 5:40: Still awake. "5 a.m. cannot be his wake up time." 5:55: Still awake. "I feel like death..." 6:10: Now he's whispering about cheerios. 6:15: Thankfully Behn got up with him. 6:16: Graham wiggles into bed with me. And so. I am tired. I am also 2 days away from my 3rd trimester, which is another tiring factor. Growing humans is serious business, folks. I am full on waddling now, and had quit all my part time jobs because I just can't anymore. I feel fairly depleted and yet ...

Last year I documented an outing to CFA and Target with a 3 and 2 year old. I really enjoyed looking back on it, and thought I'd replicate the outing a year later and see how things have changed or stayed the same. Year: 2015. I have a 3 year old and an almost 5 year old. The outing is discussed, expected behavior is laid out. We have goals: to get lunch and then go to Target to buy things to fill our shoebox for Operation Christmas Child . Shoes on, hoodies on; much easier than last year. And we're off. One mile down the road I have to pull over. A kid is already  losing it. I forget what it was even about. I threaten the "knock it off, or I cancel the trip..." and we are set to go again. I tell stories again while we drive. I've been telling stories in the car for over a year now, and it fries my brain every time. Thankfully, they don't ask for them every time we drive, but since it takes a while to get to Chick-Fil-A, a few stories were told on this ...

After the busyness of July, August has been a fairly quiet month. I was sick with a cold for a week, and since then we've been working on house and garden projects and trying to soak up the rest of the summer. It's amazing how quickly I can go from overwhelmed and too busy to bored and listless at home. Such is life. I've been mindful to do things with the boys that I could not do when V was visiting. Even visiting the library was too much for me to handle with 3 kids (and one I could not communicate with and explain the rules to). So, we've been visiting the library, went to a movie, and enjoyed going to the pool one day. I'm just trying to spend time with the boys and do fun little things. It almost always keeps our spirits up when we have a little activity. Behn and I also had friends over the other night, and really enjoyed good company. This week I'm back to tutoring, so the evenings are full. Graham's been playing with his marble run blocks and Le...

This is the longest this little space has been quiet. My rule is and has been, don't write if you don't feel like it, Megan. In July, while Victoria was here, I did not have any time or energy or desire to write. I was consumed by each day, fully depleted. Then, last week, I was quite sick with a cold and trying to get life back to normal. Just in the last day or so, I've been thinking about this blog and ready to write again. So much has happened, and yet things look almost the same. We hosted and loved a little girl, which was a lot harder than any of us imagined. We saw many walls slowly come down. We relied on family for support, which was humbling and also wonderful. We lost my Grandpa; well, not so much lost him, but had to say goodbye for now. And now it's mid-August and the summer is looking older. I will write more. Soon.

Oh, little blog. I've missed you. Life has really been going by a mile a minute and my 'free'  time is more limited than ever with these 2 active boys, who rarely nap. But now, tonight, the windows are open and the frogs are singing and the house is finally quiet. Time to take a few minutes to write. Where to start? Nothing really major has happened, just lots of little things. Things like, a new (to us) van. I love it and am so, so grateful that stress is behind us. Things like an old friend visiting (hi, Dee!). Things like this boy finishing up PreK-3: Pretty proud of him. PreK was the right thing for him; at age 4 he needed it. He's become much more confident. As of now, he's enrolled there again for next year for PreK-4. We enjoyed a relaxing Memorial Day. Behn and I took the kids out on a pedal boat at a local park. No one fell in the water, which was the main goal. The boys and I have been outside a lot. Nature walks, park, garden. So hap...

It's May first and it's been a busy spring so far. So much so that I really want to make sure I write down some things about life. The only way I'm able to blog is if the boys nap/I write when they're in bed/someone else watches them. Today that "someone" is my dad, who drove up to bring me lunch and then let me leave the house (!!)  to write for an hour. A gift! First, a few things I sadly do not have photos of. One is that Behn's parents visited a few weeks ago. We enjoyed lots of BBQ, downtime, and chatting. Behn and his dad also painted the little bedroom, which will be Victoria's room. I'm annoyed with myself for forgetting to take photos. The next weekend, my Mom and I and Graham road-tripped north to my sister Hannah's baby shower! Baby boy is due in July (their first) and I had a lot of fun with my mom on the drive. Graham was a good boy, too :) Sadly, I didn't take any pics of that day, either. The bedroom is a pale yellow. ...

Last fall, new neighbors moved in next door. That house had been empty for a while, and we were grateful to have a nice family moving in. Better yet, they had a child the exact same age as Graham. As new neighbors do, I chatted with the mom and we asked general questions, "How old is your son? Where did you move from? What do you do?" My new friend described her job and her long commute and then asked what I "do." My answer was, of course, "I stay at home with my kids. I tutor special needs kids or teach riding lessons a couple of times a week...but mostly I'm home." "Oh, that must be so nice. I wish I could do that" was her response. Before I go any further, I am not writing this to shame anyone for working outside the home. Lots of people need 2 incomes, and there are also a lot of hard working single moms out there. And trust me, I always keep my eyes open for work, just in case the "right" job would come along (doubt...

Last week flew by. We stayed busy, played outside. I don't know why, it was just a good week. This week has crawled by and left me feeling completely depleted. Nothing was different about this week; just a normal week with the normal activities. But it took me down. I'm burned out from the kids and all the kid-things. Oh my gosh, I am tired of coming up with meals and breaking up the boys' fights and trying to figure out how to discipline and picking up the same toys. I'm burned out from biting my nails until Friday's paycheck (which is today! Yay!). I'm tired of driving around southern Maryland and its weird geography, which makes it hard to get places. I'm tired of running on the treadmill and not losing 5 pounds (because, cookies). I am both bored and too tired. I'm bored enough to day dream about taking a vacation with my husband. Yesterday I frantically texted Behn, "What if we just saved alllll year and didn't spend any money and we we...

About 1/2 way through February, I had the thought, "Hey, this winter has gone by fast!" Then it snowed 4 times (or something like that). Don't get me wrong, I like snow. But not so much in March. We were, however, also distracted by the flurry of activity in preparing for little V- the application, fingerprints, beginning to fund raise, emailing social workers. It helped boost us through that last little bit of the season. Here we are, though. It's sunny and warmish. I'm browsing packs of garden seeds and delighting in the bulbs that I planted last fall popping up. The boys are beside themselves to be outside, making mud soup and running around. The spring peepers are peeping in the creekbed on the other side of the street. I'm planning on riding again this weekend, after months of not being at the barn. The changing of the seasons always makes me nostalgic. The fresh air reminds me of past years when I've breathed in the fresh air. Where I was...

Yesterday we got our fingerprints done. Because obviously people don't just go get a casual set of fingerprints done, there must be a reason, right? The reason is that this summer our little family will be hosting a little girl from Ukraine! V is living in an orphanage, but this summer she will get to experience the love of a family as we welcome her to our home. She is so young, only 6, and it breaks our heart that kids grow up in orphanages. We are thrilled that God has called us to be part of her life. Behn and I have always felt the draw to care for orphans and kids from hard places. We actually went to Ukraine on an Orphan Care trip 5 years ago. (Read about it here ). When God led us to buy a house with a extra space, we knew we wanted to share it; we just did not know how we would. And now we do know- this summer it will be filled with a little girl. The hosting agency is Open Hearts and Homes For Children. She will come with the group and we will pick her up in New Yo...

I've never really paid much attention to Lent before, a pity for a girl who grew up in the church. But this year, with the brutal and very real persecution of "the people of the Cross (my brothers and sisters)," I am fasting from Facebook. It seems trite. But in the tiring, lonely moments of the day, I go to social media for community. And then not only do I waste time, I feel racked in anxiety as I read about the darkness in the world, the vaccine debates, the articles posted about what poisons are in our food/water/air, terrible diagnoses and accidents. I need a break, maybe permanently. " Since, then, you have been raised with Christ,   set your hearts on things above , where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.     Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.     For you died,  and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.     When Christ, who is your life,  appears,  then you also will appear with him in gl...

A sunrise last week. I've seen many sunrises lately, due to one certain early bird who is 4 years old and thinks it a good idea to be up at 6..or 5...or 4:30...But each new day is grace. Last week, Patrick graduated to a toddler bed. I'd been looking at thrift stores for a while, but hadn't found one. Then I spotted a friend selling one on good ol' Facebook and jumped on it. I saw the ad at 4:30 in the afternoon, picked it up at 6:00, and by 7:30, my baby was a-sleeping on it. He loves it and transitioned perfectly. It was a little bittersweet, the taking the down the crib. But I must admit, I feel a bit giddy about it. The last few years of babies and now toddlers and preschoolers- they've been hard. Way hard. They've stretched me and grown me and aged me. I love having little ones, and yet I'm so thrilled about new autonomy, like Preschool and toddler beds and wiping their own bottoms (well, Graham at least). That's not to say I'll nev...