A Realization
The other day I was doing what moms around the world do every day. Folding laundry.
I looked down and saw these little boy socks and my eyes filled with tears. Graham's socks. He's getting tall and smart and outgrowing shoes and socks. But these socks, they still look so little. Not baby socks, but not big boy socks.
I've had him in my arms for almost 4 years, this boy. Lately we've had a lot of ups and downs. 3 has been hard and also good. But he's still a little guy, my boy who made me a mama. I forget how precious that is, amidst the backdrop of tantrums and kids fighting and being tired and trying to get them to eat healthy. I forget that this is a precious journey. I love having little socks to wash and put on little feet,
I love seeing little tractors set up side by side because another little boy in my house loves tractors.
I am grateful to catch these moments of grace. I wish I would catch them more and see the good all around me. Mamas get worn down and often it's hard. But I'm glad to have tractors and toy garbage trucks to trip on.
I love these kids. Sometimes I hear them (both!) mutter "stupid" because we have a lot of testing of boundaries. But now I'm also hearing unprompted, "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?" And I'm hearing requests for hugs and kisses. And tonight after trick-or-treating, I heard a "Thanks for taking us trick-or-treating, Mama!" They are learning to love and know that there's forgiveness after mistakes.
I can't take credit. I had MUCH, much higher expectations about how I was going to run my home. I thought I'd be way more 'in control,' things would be a lot smoother, and we'd never, ever yell. Instead, we have to leave storytime at the library because my crazy boys start having a wrestling match. But God is doing His work here. He's teaching us ALL about grace and forgiveness and to stop trying the perfect. Because He is the Perfect and we can rest in that.
I looked down and saw these little boy socks and my eyes filled with tears. Graham's socks. He's getting tall and smart and outgrowing shoes and socks. But these socks, they still look so little. Not baby socks, but not big boy socks.
I've had him in my arms for almost 4 years, this boy. Lately we've had a lot of ups and downs. 3 has been hard and also good. But he's still a little guy, my boy who made me a mama. I forget how precious that is, amidst the backdrop of tantrums and kids fighting and being tired and trying to get them to eat healthy. I forget that this is a precious journey. I love having little socks to wash and put on little feet,
I love seeing little tractors set up side by side because another little boy in my house loves tractors.
I am grateful to catch these moments of grace. I wish I would catch them more and see the good all around me. Mamas get worn down and often it's hard. But I'm glad to have tractors and toy garbage trucks to trip on.
I love these kids. Sometimes I hear them (both!) mutter "stupid" because we have a lot of testing of boundaries. But now I'm also hearing unprompted, "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?" And I'm hearing requests for hugs and kisses. And tonight after trick-or-treating, I heard a "Thanks for taking us trick-or-treating, Mama!" They are learning to love and know that there's forgiveness after mistakes.
I can't take credit. I had MUCH, much higher expectations about how I was going to run my home. I thought I'd be way more 'in control,' things would be a lot smoother, and we'd never, ever yell. Instead, we have to leave storytime at the library because my crazy boys start having a wrestling match. But God is doing His work here. He's teaching us ALL about grace and forgiveness and to stop trying the perfect. Because He is the Perfect and we can rest in that.
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