WayfaringStrangers

 I'm in the shower, a hundred lists in my head, and you turn on Coldplay's Viva La Vida in the kitchen (only steps away in our small cottage). And I remember it was fall and we drove to Gettysburg and played that album over and over that day. The air was crisp and we were free. It was not perfect- we had no money and jobs we didn't like- and was that the time your car broke down? But we could drive and see and listen and then go home and sleep. Now we talk about how many eggs the hens laid and when we can sit down and apply for financial aid. And life weighs heavier and more real with our 4 boys. But maybe we can drive to Gettysburg soon. 

"Well, he officially got the diagnosis," I tell family and close friends in the days after we receive the very long report.  They all reply, with empathy, with the same question, "How are you feeling about it?" In the first days, I felt relief. Finally an answer to some of the difficulties. We peel back the layers of the ADHD symptoms and say, 'yes, that's him; it makes so much sense now.' I begin to think of the behaviors and difficulties in a softer light.  "We can finally get him some help!" is the general feeling. But weeks pass by, and it becomes so much more complicated. Now we have to make decisions. We are in a lapse of insurance as our family navigates an underemployment situation. We want to continue with counseling. Appointments are made, or need to be made, to see nurses and specialists. The real question is, where do we go from here? Any parent who has had to make big medical decisions knows the pull and stress of ALL THE INFORMATI...

 Maybe if you would... Spank more. Spank less. Take out red food dye. Have you tried gluten free? Go organic. Read this book. Buy a weighted blanket. Apply these oils. Set a routine. Make a sticker chart. Never negotiate. Pick your battles. ( I am desperate for a break).  He's fine. He's normal. He'll grow out of it. He's so lovely. He's just a boy. He needs to apologize. Make him say sorry. He did this. He did that. (Please, two days of rest would restore me for a bit).  He'll be calm if you stay calm. Put him in school. Take him out of school. He needs more structure. He needs more playtime. He'll be fine! ( I can't get anything done. The others aren't like this. I cringe when he's in a mood. Every day is a roller coaster. I'm alone in this.)  It's neurodevelopmental. His brain is different. He was born like this. It's not your fault. We can help. Meds may help. We can be a team. It's not your fault. He can succeed. He processes...

Today I'm wearing my grandma's socks. My aunt Jeanne thoughtfully offered them to me after Grandma unexpectedly left us for heaven in February. I also inherited several chicken-themed items: chicken candlesticks and a rooster that sits on a shelf. These funny little items bring her to mind frequently. This year I'm thankful for my memories with both my grandmothers. We lost them both this year (neither from Covid). I'm thankful for the time I had with them, and I think of all my grandparents more often than one would realize. I'm thankful I drove to Ohio to hand make my wedding invitations with Grandma B. I'm thankful that Mom and my sisters went back to Ohio a couple summers ago to visit her one more time. I'm thankful for little funny stories that I can tell my kids, like how when we took Grandma B out of her assisted living home for a Walmart run. She zoomed around that store in one of those scooters like a boss, unashamedly choosing Twinkies and Swiss Ro...

Several years ago, I was driving home from my part time tutoring job and listening to NPR. I always seemed to catch the Marketplace segment and began to really enjoy it. I've never been a numbers person, but I am interested in economy and society. They had a segment inviting young adults (millennials) to share their stories of how difficult it can be to get by in middle class America. The economy was slowly recovering from the Recession, and I had the perfect anecdote. I went home and typed up my story in the comments section of the Marketplace page. How my husband and I had graduated college with student loan debt...how expensive health insurance plans were....how every paycheck was spent with bills as soon as we had it...how getting married during a recession was basically no fun...how we had to sell our vehicle and buy a crappier one that we could afford. We did not take fancy vacations or eat out much. I stayed home with our kids but had to tutor in the evenings for extra cas...

Ah, it's been a while since I've had a birth story to write about.  So, here's another episode of "Megan's Precipitous Labors." My pregnancy with baby N was overall very good, but also hard. Maybe because I'm getting older and my body has done this a few times. I was more sick in my 1st trimester than before (but nothing severe, thankfully). Later, I had awful restless leg at night, sharp rib pain, and was generally exhausted. Add that to already having 3 crazy boys and homeschooling - oh, and purchasing a house and moving- and I was kind of a mess. Still, I had no complications. My 1 ultrasound showed a healthy baby, and we had decided not to find out the gender. Working with Karen and Jen- my homebirth midwives- was great. My prenatal appointments were all an unrushed hour in her cozy home office. They asked how I was doing. They offered advice for my struggles and genuinely cared for me. There was nothing invasive or uncomfortable about seeing them....

We finally settled on our new home! After 10.5 years away, we are back in Delaware. Our early married life took us from Delaware (where we both grew up), to beautiful Virginia (still my favorite), to Southern MD, to northern MD, and now back to Delaware. We are actually only moving 20 minutes away this time, from our MD rental over into DE. It's not the area of DE where we were raised, but it's perfect for us. We needed s p a c e, and you just cannot get that in northern New Castle county. Plus, we are plugged into our church and homeschool community and didn't want to make more changes. This is home, probably for a long time. The house is move-in ready, but we have big dreams for the house and property. On over 3 acres, we have wishes for gardens and animals. The house itself is a bit small (well, compared to many American standards... But not compared to world standards). We have lots of improvements and renovations we hope to make over time... Although we also want t...