On Staying Home

Last fall, new neighbors moved in next door. That house had been empty for a while, and we were grateful to have a nice family moving in. Better yet, they had a child the exact same age as Graham. As new neighbors do, I chatted with the mom and we asked general questions, "How old is your son? Where did you move from? What do you do?"

My new friend described her job and her long commute and then asked what I "do." My answer was, of course, "I stay at home with my kids. I tutor special needs kids or teach riding lessons a couple of times a week...but mostly I'm home."

"Oh, that must be so nice. I wish I could do that" was her response.

Before I go any further, I am not writing this to shame anyone for working outside the home. Lots of people need 2 incomes, and there are also a lot of hard working single moms out there. And trust me, I always keep my eyes open for work, just in case the "right" job would come along (doubtful, because in my field I would make just enough to pay for childcare). Anyway, I'm not writing about working moms why or why not I do or do not work full time outside the home. I'm writing about my current story, and about my experience staying home.

Yes. Yes, staying home is nice. I am so incredibly privileged to be able to do this. Some days I like being home, and some days I do not. I supposed that goes with anything. I know there were lots of days I did or did not like the various professional jobs I had before I decided to be at home with my kids. That's life.

But being home and living on one modest salary has required a lot of sacrifice. Our neighbors are going on 2 vacations this summer. We are going on 0 vacations. They have a brand new 2015 car and our old van just died so we're scrambling to find something to drive that fits at least 3 carseats. My clothes are almost all years old, I get my hair cut 2x a year, and the kids aren't going to get a swingset this year. If I'm being honest, we've been eating a lot of eggs and rice and beans lately. It's ok, I love rice and beans and eggs. I don't want to live my life in comparison mode.  I really like my neighbors and know they work hard. Also, a lot of the time I enjoy being thrifty and I know we want to be good stewards to what God has given us.  But I think that it's often thought that stay at home moms have it made. In our experience, it's required a pretty significant lifestyle difference to raise kids and allow me to be here during these little years.

But I'm so glad I've been able to see all the growing up they've done! All the new words and playground visits and Bible stories and walks. While it's also tiring and sometimes mind-numbing to be with little kids all day, I know God has me here, doing this work. I hope down the road I can stay home with more kids (I think I want that, at least...haha). Who knows, we might even homeschool! And in choosing this- staying home to raise these guys and not having a career- I know I'll probably never be able to do some of the things I would like.

Above all, we want to raise 2 (or more) brave kids that honor God and give their lives to Him. That share and are generous and kind and that have set their minds "on things above, where Christ is." Children that care for the earth and live respectfully and advocate for justice. So, I'm digging in deep to Christ and praying for grace on a Monday morning. Carry on.

It's all day, everyday with these 2 explorers:

Real Life: The two year old cried himself to sleep at the front door: